I’m So Tired Of People Apologising For Their Appearance

I’m So Tired Of People Apologising For Their Appearance

I must apologise for the state of me. 

One single sentence.

Actually, it’s not even a sentence. It’s the beginning of one, but I didn’t stick around long enough to hear the rest.

The event in question occurred about a week ago, as I was sat on the couch scrolling through instagram.

I went onto one of my favourite bloggers feeds and saw that she had posted something new to her instagram stories. Intrigued – as ever – I clicked the red circle and was greeted by her always impeccable face. There wasn’t a spot in sight, no dark circles and certainly no wrinkles. Her hair was tucked neatly back into a ponytail and she had the hint of a tan on her exposed shoulders. She’d just finished at the gym.

“I must apologise for the state of me,” she began, but before she could continue, I had swiped out of her stories and immediately clicked unfollow.

Sure – it sounds dramatic and perhaps unnecessary now, but if you knew who I was talking about, you’d also notice that I unsubscribed from her Youtube channel while I was at it.

Why does it annoy me so much when people apologise for their appearance? How could that irk someone so much?

It annoys me so much because I find it offensive that appearances are all that seem to matter to some. It makes me worry that a stray piece of hair is all it would take for people to write me off as a person completely. It annoys me even more that smart, talented and successful people are so distracted by the way they look.

I remember when Alfie Deyes used to start every single one of his Youtube videos with ‘sorry about the hair guys’. It became ridiculous to the point of hilarity, but then it actually made me realise that perhaps he just doesn’t have anything interesting to say. Which is crazy, when you think about it. The man has a brain for this modern industry of internet careers, and his preoccupation with his cult-status haircut being a little out of place is disappointing, to say the least.

I loved this recent article on Man Repeller about modern society and its fixation on looking ‘good’, and it’s really opened my eyes up to how insane the concept of appearance is. Why are we so obsessed with how we appear to others? Is it because people like the Kardashians literally built a career from their sex appeal, or is it something deeper than that? Are we all perpetually dissatisfied with the way we look because of the ridiculous standards set upon us by digital media, or are we simply comparing ourselves continuously to those around us? Are we doomed to always be unhappy with our appearances?

I can promise you this: I will never apologise to anyone for the way I look.

Sure, some days [most, if I’m being honest] I can find a million things to pick myself apart for. My cuticles are awful, my skin a bit too textured for my liking, and yeah – I’m a little large and in charge, BUT I’m not sorry for it. Not at all.

And I never will be.

So stop apologising, guys! It makes you look weak and boring and at times a little daft. There’s so much more to you than the way you look.

We get so worried about being ‘pretty’. Let’s be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong.


  1. August 22, 2018 / 8:46 am

    So true Sharni! I find myself apologising all the time for so many silly things. I think it’s important to stop and think about whether we are actually sorry, and if we’re not then there’s no need to apologise!

    • August 27, 2018 / 1:56 pm

      Exactly! Before we know it, we’re apologising for even existing. Definitely a routine we need to change.

  2. August 21, 2018 / 9:09 pm

    Here here! It’s so annoying when Youtuber start their vlog off by apologising for the lack of makeup or this, that or the other. It’s a strange thing to be sorry for the way we look, I might say something like ‘excuse my dark circles!!’

    • August 27, 2018 / 1:54 pm

      It really is! I find it very distracting and off putting. I hope they realise how shallow it makes them look, before it becomes on brand for them to apologise for their appearance in every video.

  3. Laura
    August 21, 2018 / 7:58 pm

    Sharni this post is amazing!!!! It’s so true. I know sometimes I am hopeless at not building myself up and I know that I need to stop apologising or talking myself down. I shouldn’t, but it just slips out. I need to change my mindset!

    Laura || http://www.thelifeoflaura.com.au xx

    • August 27, 2018 / 1:53 pm

      I think we’ve all grown up and noticed that if women aren’t quiet and soft and apologetic, they get branded as bitchy and bossy and moody. It’s a hard routine to change but we definitely need to try to stop apologising for existing, if that makes sense. I’ve never seen a man {aside from the aforementioned Alfie Deyes} apologise for having dark circles or a breakout.

  4. August 21, 2018 / 8:39 am

    Omg, YES Sharni – this post has hit the nail on the head! Yes yes yes – we need to change society’s way of thinking.
    Your powerful words warm my soul – I can’t tell you how much I can relate too this.
    Thank your for sharing this.
    Daisy xxx
    P.S. you are pretty kind, pretty funny, pretty smart, pretty strong, and pretty gal in general! Love you 🙂

    • August 27, 2018 / 1:49 pm

      Omg I bloody adore you girl! xo

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