I must apologise for the state of me.
One single sentence.
Actually, it’s not even a sentence. It’s the beginning of one, but I didn’t stick around long enough to hear the rest.
The event in question occurred about a week ago, as I was sat on the couch scrolling through instagram.
I went onto one of my favourite bloggers feeds and saw that she had posted something new to her instagram stories. Intrigued – as ever – I clicked the red circle and was greeted by her always impeccable face. There wasn’t a spot in sight, no dark circles and certainly no wrinkles. Her hair was tucked neatly back into a ponytail and she had the hint of a tan on her exposed shoulders. She’d just finished at the gym.
“I must apologise for the state of me,” she began, but before she could continue, I had swiped out of her stories and immediately clicked unfollow.
Sure – it sounds dramatic and perhaps unnecessary now, but if you knew who I was talking about, you’d also notice that I unsubscribed from her Youtube channel while I was at it.
Why does it annoy me so much when people apologise for their appearance? How could that irk someone so much?
It annoys me so much because I find it offensive that appearances are all that seem to matter to some. It makes me worry that a stray piece of hair is all it would take for people to write me off as a person completely. It annoys me even more that smart, talented and successful people are so distracted by the way they look.
I remember when Alfie Deyes used to start every single one of his Youtube videos with ‘sorry about the hair guys’. It became ridiculous to the point of hilarity, but then it actually made me realise that perhaps he just doesn’t have anything interesting to say. Which is crazy, when you think about it. The man has a brain for this modern industry of internet careers, and his preoccupation with his cult-status haircut being a little out of place is disappointing, to say the least.
I loved this recent article on Man Repeller about modern society and its fixation on looking ‘good’, and it’s really opened my eyes up to how insane the concept of appearance is. Why are we so obsessed with how we appear to others? Is it because people like the Kardashians literally built a career from their sex appeal, or is it something deeper than that? Are we all perpetually dissatisfied with the way we look because of the ridiculous standards set upon us by digital media, or are we simply comparing ourselves continuously to those around us? Are we doomed to always be unhappy with our appearances?
I can promise you this: I will never apologise to anyone for the way I look.
Sure, some days [most, if I’m being honest] I can find a million things to pick myself apart for. My cuticles are awful, my skin a bit too textured for my liking, and yeah – I’m a little large and in charge, BUT I’m not sorry for it. Not at all.
And I never will be.
So stop apologising, guys! It makes you look weak and boring and at times a little daft. There’s so much more to you than the way you look.
We get so worried about being ‘pretty’. Let’s be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong.